Back on!

I just love how this quote generally express one true self. and that includes myself.

"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have."

Good morning readers. It's been quite some time since i last posted something here. Just had not have the time i used to have in the past. Am serving the army right now. that''s why! :)

I'm going to post short post in my upcoming posts. Just to sum up what happen everyday in my life. :) Well, I've got to go now. I've to get some sleep. Hahas. So tired.

Have a fun sizzling Sunday everyone!

Tuesday, August 19th.

Hey world.

THE GREATEST THINGS IN LIFE IS TO LOVE AND BE LOVED IN RETURN

This few days has been long, dreadfull & lonely. I just don't know why. :(
But to keep me going, I have some songs that kept me company through the day.

"Lucky" by Jason Mraz Ft. Colbie Cailat & "Mr Therapy Man" by Justin Nozuka.

But i just like Lucky the best as for now. Soothing. Calm.

Lucky by Jason Mraz Ft. Colbie Cailat

Do you hear me,

I'm talking to you

Across the water across the deep blue ocean

Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams

I feel your whisper across the sea

I keep you with me in my heart

You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes

Waiting for a love like this

Every time we say goodbye

I wish we had one more kiss

I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

Lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea

To an island where we'll meet

You'll hear the music fill the air

I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees

Move so pretty you're all I see

As the world keeps spinning round

You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

I'm lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

I'm Back!

It's been quite some time since i last ever post somethings here. Honestly, during the "disappearence", I waslazy to post anything here. Anyway, I'm back & its going to be a new, fresh blog once again(apart from my previous post before this).

Looking back at the past, so many things had changed. The people around me and myself of course. Generally people DO changed; for good or worst. As about me, I can't judge myself, but i do think i'm changing to a good way. hurmm..

Anyway, I hope you guys know I've already cut my hair. That was so long ago. Since March i guess. I regret though cutting my hair. But on lighter note, my short hair seems to bring my face out and shines my eyes(even though I know my eyes is freakishly small.duh). Haha. But i just miss my hair still. That kinda give my own personality and attentions. :) I've made my mind to grow out my hair back. Takes about 7 month to acheive that emo hair. Overall, just miss the emos.

Now, whats in my mind? Im just thinking about things i'm missing badly since i step to this gay scene. It's not that i don't fancy it. Just that somehow, it gonna bores me. During the past month have been challenging. Relationship, friends, bitching around & OMG the "gay slangs & accents." I just wish i can turn back time. Coming out to my sexuality is a good thing but as soon as u began mixing with some others(queers), you might be in this situation where I am facing now. Even now I'm happily attached with my love, sometime I will feel insecure with the people surrounding me. To me i just don't give a heck cos i know what i want and doing. hurm. Have u ever been in a situation where u will be stuck between your friends and your love one and yourself. I know I did. I don't wish to lose my close friends & my cutie of course. But at the end of day, you just know you're going to break somebodys heart. When friends say they understand, but they don't really did. Sometime i just shun myself avoiding them. not because i really wanted to but I just want to have a fresh and some time alone. I don't need many friends. I just need a couple of the best sincere ones. Someone who tries to understand & work out friendship, who gives proper sensible advise, who don't force you doing things you don't wanna do. A real friend will understand. I'm just sick having clubbing friends. I want to have those who can meet up for movies at the weekdays and a starbucks on the weekends. I'm not blaming my friends for all this. I just leave this to fate. No one is wrong in this. This the only place i can really outgo my feelings. I'm sensitive, emo brat. That makes everyone not to understand people like me. But its alright. As long i'm still in good terms with my friends and my bf, I'm happy. I'm just happy i've met danny. Up & downs, thick & thin we've gone through. The love is getting stronger. :)

I just hope God show the light to me. Where I should head for HE is the greatest of all and the almighty. Amin.

Back.

After so long of MIA, i decided to get back to blogging. Not that i miss blogging so much but i just have to blog because i want to. I just need to work my hands.

So much things happened in just a blink on an eye. Things changed & could never be the same. Yerp somethings change for good but some don't. Well things can always get "influence". Recently just had a photoshoot last Sunday. Was quite okay for me. Use my little sister & darren for the shoot. Great couple as they are very comfortable with each other. This is what, to me, is important. If you're comfortable with each other, you wouldn't feel arkward for doing the shooting. Weather was nice & photos are great. I just need to improve on my focusing & have to be strict. Yerp I know whatever. Done model photography as it was my interest. I would love to have professionals giving me some extra uselful tips. I do get criticsm but for a starter, I think I'm doing a wonderful job. Later I have to spend time editing the photos. Ah. SInce our editor quit on us, it's my duty to cover for her. Bitch.

Well, things had been great for us 3. Me, Ein & Izzy. We started talking like how we do before. We're still the best. I'm happy that we're back together sharing our life stories with each other once again. Had a nice time tonight you guys. :) Hope our friendship last.

After next week, I'm over with school. & that means I have lots of free time. Looking for a job. But employers are like so whatever this days.

Bye.

School.

I'm just letting my hands off from school. I just couldn't take it anymore. I hate school. I don't know why I enter school on the 1st place. I knowI don't like to study anymore. I mean for now. I'm just fucking stress right now. Exams next week. Couldn't be bothered. Life for me is coming to the end.

I don't know whats the hell wrong with me. I'm sick & will die sooner or later. I just can feel it. I want to leave this world. I cannot take it anymore. My brain is killing me. Help...

STAB!

Stab me! Stab me!
Stab me where it hurts. Stab me where all the pain will be gone. Stab me and leave me lying dead on the hardwood floor. Stab me 6 times so that you know I will sure to be gone.

The pain in my heart is unbearable. Its getting dirty contented with your love. Why does this have to happened? I'm just losing it all. It's all in my heart now. The sucrificated pain is just too much. I just want this to end..

Stab me! Stab me!
Stab me where its really, really hurts. Its nno use anymore. Stab me to death. Leave me alone may i come back to rest...

Nothing much.

People always just pretend to be happy when thery're not. It sad to see people behave this way. It's just how people try to be happy(when they are not) and to enjoy their sad life to the fullest. I'm just behaving this way. Pretending to be happy when I'm not. In front of friends & family. Just fucking want to care about people feelings but not myself. Well life..

I got an offer to work at 7-eleven at Ubi. A friend of mine Jjay offer this job. She said she wanted to be my trainer. So how? Just fucking can't decide. The pay is just too low. Sigh. Ahaha. I just need some money to buy prezzie for my sisters. I've been such a lousy brother all this years. Ashamed.

I tried to be a loner but i can't. I wonder why...hmm.