Monday, 18 August 2008

I'm Back!

It's been quite some time since i last ever post somethings here. Honestly, during the "disappearence", I waslazy to post anything here. Anyway, I'm back & its going to be a new, fresh blog once again(apart from my previous post before this).

Looking back at the past, so many things had changed. The people around me and myself of course. Generally people DO changed; for good or worst. As about me, I can't judge myself, but i do think i'm changing to a good way. hurmm..

Anyway, I hope you guys know I've already cut my hair. That was so long ago. Since March i guess. I regret though cutting my hair. But on lighter note, my short hair seems to bring my face out and shines my eyes(even though I know my eyes is freakishly small.duh). Haha. But i just miss my hair still. That kinda give my own personality and attentions. :) I've made my mind to grow out my hair back. Takes about 7 month to acheive that emo hair. Overall, just miss the emos.

Now, whats in my mind? Im just thinking about things i'm missing badly since i step to this gay scene. It's not that i don't fancy it. Just that somehow, it gonna bores me. During the past month have been challenging. Relationship, friends, bitching around & OMG the "gay slangs & accents." I just wish i can turn back time. Coming out to my sexuality is a good thing but as soon as u began mixing with some others(queers), you might be in this situation where I am facing now. Even now I'm happily attached with my love, sometime I will feel insecure with the people surrounding me. To me i just don't give a heck cos i know what i want and doing. hurm. Have u ever been in a situation where u will be stuck between your friends and your love one and yourself. I know I did. I don't wish to lose my close friends & my cutie of course. But at the end of day, you just know you're going to break somebodys heart. When friends say they understand, but they don't really did. Sometime i just shun myself avoiding them. not because i really wanted to but I just want to have a fresh and some time alone. I don't need many friends. I just need a couple of the best sincere ones. Someone who tries to understand & work out friendship, who gives proper sensible advise, who don't force you doing things you don't wanna do. A real friend will understand. I'm just sick having clubbing friends. I want to have those who can meet up for movies at the weekdays and a starbucks on the weekends. I'm not blaming my friends for all this. I just leave this to fate. No one is wrong in this. This the only place i can really outgo my feelings. I'm sensitive, emo brat. That makes everyone not to understand people like me. But its alright. As long i'm still in good terms with my friends and my bf, I'm happy. I'm just happy i've met danny. Up & downs, thick & thin we've gone through. The love is getting stronger. :)

I just hope God show the light to me. Where I should head for HE is the greatest of all and the almighty. Amin.



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